Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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