Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
