Heybabeimwearingurpanties
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
