Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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