I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Will exercising make me less horny?
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