You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
