Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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