you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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