I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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