this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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