can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
