I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
