it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
