this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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