How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
