This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
