just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
