I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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