her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
