You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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