ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have fence marks all over my body
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
