You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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