first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Randomize
