I'm really into asian looking animals
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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