I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
