All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
