he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
