Cold hands, warm shart.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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