You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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