yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
