Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
