You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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