I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
