yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
