How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
