I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
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I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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