I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
