like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
