his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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