I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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