my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
