Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
