How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
