in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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