My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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