stop calling my apartment porn island.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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