What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
