I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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