We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My liver just had a heart attack.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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