...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
