go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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