dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
