New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize