Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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