Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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