hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i now understand why vodka
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
