i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
