We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
