wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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