That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
