shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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