I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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