What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
sex in a hospital.. check
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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